I consider myself as super. Why? Because I can multitask. I can do things without asking for any help and feel superb. Maybe that’s not always the case because I am moody. There are times that when I see something not right and instead of correcting it, I end up getting mad. Yes. I get mad for no reason and I am trying to work this out for years. Seeing myself in a positive way, I know everything will fall into places if I wake up in the right side of the bed. I can cook while taking care of Elijah while washing the dishes and many more. I managed to master all the things I need to learn as a mother right after Elijah was born. I was lazy and my family can’t depend on me about almost anything before I got pregnant. I curse people without thinking what will be it’s effect on our relationship. I don’t think that much. I am not even aware on how to use a stainless steel u bolts.
Every super hero has their own weakness. I, as a super hero of my own life has weakness and it’s not simple. Dealing with myself is as hard as counting my hair. I always wanted perfection. Everything around me should go as I expected. I am aware with my bad attitude and as I feel bad, I pray. I need guidance from above to keep me cool. If I am not going to fix my attitude, who will? No one will ever love me back even Elijah might turn his back on me. I can predict my future if I don’t change. I guess two years is not yet enough because I see only small progress in me but at least I am trying and they can feel it. What bothers me is what if I am the only one who can see my own effort? I will surely try to bring my old evil self and think that nobody ever cares.
I am super because I am able to talk to myself and trying to bring the best in me. It may sound weird but haven’t you tried talking to yourself yet? If I have no one to talk with, I talk to myself and evaluate things.